"i'd just like to mention how dissapointed by the fact that many a time have i been on the search for the fran dresher porn that ppl speak of, and nekkid pictures of sophie monk... and all i ever get is sucked into going to your page... and its all lies... you have no porn and nekkidness to speak of what so ever, and i think you should rectify the situation.

luv zen"

Just a quick note. If, like at least 8 people per day, you come across Planet MadDog in your search for Fran Drescher Porno please be advised that you are a tool, and it does NOT exist. The porn of which you seek is either fake or a look-a-like, but regardless, it's not here, so you got SUCKED IN!! HAA!! But still, it IS getting me a lot of hits, so who am I to complain? And now that it's on my site AGAIN in this post's title, I should soon be raking in the hits. Oh, and while I'm gratuitiosly spamming the search engines, sex sex umm... sex... britney... free boobies! There.

Hi Folks. It's been a long while between updates so I'll be sure to make this one a doozy. Besides, as attractive as Barbara Bush (see below) is, I think it's time for a change.

Well, what's been happening with me? Okay, lets see. Well first of all, we were this close *making small hand gestures* to buying a house. It was a great house. In fact it was the first house that we really agreed on. We made an offer and it was accepted. Then we changed our minds... rather our minds were changed for us... never mind, long story. Needless to say, we withdrew our offer realising that now wasn't a good time to buy a house and deciding to instead wait until we got back from our honeymoon. However we still decided to go ahead with the sale of my unit, which is coming along nicely, apart from some unprofessional practices from the real-estate agent (but nothing too drastic).

The other important thing going on is the change in my job. It has come to pass that the web publishing division I work for has disolved and is no more. Rather than be made redundant, I have been offered a new job at the Shepparton News to join their online team to work towards the revamp of their current online presence and help them achieve their goals where all things web are concerned. Now this scared the hell out of me. I fear change. Of course now that I've had time for this to sink in and to realise what a good opportunity this is for me to widen my skills, I'm much cooler with it. I think it will be a bit bizzare at first, tip-toeing around the minefield that is online publishing, but I think once the initial leap has been made, and I'm a bit more sure of myself, things will be great. In terms of the work that I'll be doing, first of all I'll be finishing off the jobs that I already have in progress, then I'll be working on the McPherson Meda Group's Intranet site as a migratory project, working in closer with the Shepp News staff. Following that I'll be starting the groundwork on this News Online project, working with the Editorial team and their new news publishing software to develop the best way to deliver the news online and also offer my mad tech-consulting skills.

Well it's all happening at the moment, and now that the fear of progressing has subsided, I'm happy to ride this as far as it will take me. As for long term plans... well, that's all relative right now. But you can be assured that now things have calmed down, the Planet MadDog updates will keep on coming.

Barbara Bush: an artist's impression.

I just got back from a weekend at the snow. We stayed at Gracie's auntie's ski lodge at Dinner Plain, which is about 10 minutes from the Mt. Hotham Resort. This little newspost had potential to be one of those groovy pictorials in my Output section, however some shit-for-brains forgot to bring the digital camera. Oh well. There were only really about five or six things I would have taken pictures of anyway, which brings us to the odd picture you can see to the right there. The one thing that I really wanted to take a picture of was the snow-lady that we built, so much so that I came this close (making small hand gestures) to buying a $30 disposable camera just so I could capture the moment. Unfortunately, you'll have to make do with the crude diagram (Click it for an enlarged version). She was anatomically correct (apart form the whole no-legs thing, but hey, you can't be picky with snow-people), had a top set of norgs, and... well... we named her Barbara Bush.

Other highlights of the weekend included making snow angels like they did in the Simpsons (except ours were crappy), going tobogganing down a crappy slope in a blizzard and ending up rolling down the hill and going much faster, playing Jenga when we got bored, making a beer tree by sticking many stubbies into a pile of snow, playing Pictionary when we got incredibly bored ("That's not a damn computer! It's a piece of cheese!" -- "Well I haven't drawn the mouse yet!"), and catching up on a couple of the Ralphs and FHMs from the 15,000 or so that I've bought and haven't read yet. Overall it was a fun weekend but not really something that I'd do all the time. Maybe another time, but perhaps without the twenty or so reletives hanging around.

Yaay! My copy of Braindead on VHS is famous! Thanks zenny! Oh, and if you haven't seen Braindead, get some mates, get hammered, and get it out.

Bill Gates... Yeah, he's a real barrel of fun. Kerry Packer? What a weird looking dude. I bet he's just great at parties... Sultan of Who-nei? Rich people. Let's face it, they piss you off. They sit there counting their billions with this high and mighty attitude that makes you want to spit on them. But there's one dude who's recently won me over.

Richard Branson, the man who started Virgin at the age of 15, appeard on Rove last night and turned out to be one of the coolest rich guys I've seen and has proved to me that although money can't buy happiness, it can buy you a higher quality of misery. But Richard seems like he'd be having just as much fun even if he wasn't a billionaire. Perfect example: this article in todays Age. This is the same guy who launched his new Virgin Mobile company by driving an army tank across the Sydney Harbour Bridge shooting the crowd with a Super-Soaker. This guy kicks ass.

I reckon, if I ever became a billionaire (not gonna happen) I'd be just like him. How does Bill Gates launch Windows 98? He stands infront of a black background and demonstrates the software until it crashes and he becomes a laughing stock. Imagine if Bill had launched Windows with a Kylie Minogue concert and threw Mars bars out into the crowd while midgets danced around the stage. Microsoft wouldn't have the negative attitude towards it that it has now, I'm telling you.

My Top 10 things I'd do if I had a billion dollars

• Buy all the stuff that Gracie and I have ever wanted
  
• Buy a monkey and dress him up like a cowboy
  
• Buy one of those big druglord mansions built on the side of a cliff
  
• Kick the ass of my Grade 6 teacher, Mr Wangman (heheh... wang), who said I'd never amount to anything
  
• Buy zenny her movie theater
  
• Hang out with all the celebrities that I admire
  
• NOT buy a chopper or other light aircraft, rather, buy a chopper or light aircraft simulator.
  
• Buy a huge-ass video arcade with as many classic games as there are new ones
  
• Fund research into why my t-shirts go all frilly around the collar
  
• Swim around my money bin like Scrooge McDuck