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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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PlanetMadDog.com
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| MadDog's
WinAMP |
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Last song played:
Trauma - I'm a Pumpkin Man - SLAY Radio
PLAYLIST |
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Christ! Not more of
this stuff! Do we ever do any work?
<<
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CRAP >>
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MadDog
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Ha ha! Im disturbing you!!
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Hatch
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Yes, you are! |
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MadDog
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hee! |
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Hatch
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God that last chick I spoke
too had a really great voice!
MMMmmmm boner!!
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MadDog
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you got a boner from her voice?????? |
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Hatch
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No!! Just thought it sounded
good! :)
But I was close to bonerism!
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MadDog
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Hey, when you shake youre boobies,
do they wobble all about the place? |
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Hatch
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No!! Not at all! |
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MadDog
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oh.... thats a different answer
than what Ive normally gotten....
the answer I normally get is "What sort
of a question is that"
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MadDog
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kick punch turn and chop the
door...
...or I will fall to the floor
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Hatch
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You've got too much spare time
on your hands!
hehe I was about to say, you've got too much
spare tyres in your hands!
d'oh!
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MadDog
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... why did he say that? |
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Hatch
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because hes a freakin weirdarse
schlong boy? |
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Hatch
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No car until monday, thats what
they reckon!! |
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MadDog
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DID YOU SHOOT THEM? |
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Hatch
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I did, but then I realised that
I wasn't there, and shot scotty accidently, don't ya hate that! |
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MadDog
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damnit.... you should have said
that you'd organised a trip for this weekend and you need a replacement
car, and maybe they'll give you a ferrari or something.. |
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Hatch
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Yeah, they'll say something
like, sorry, but we can give you our courtersy ferrari to hoon round
in and bag the crap of for fun. Here's the keys, go pick up some
chick, boof them silly and then have some cheese!!
I wish!!
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MadDog
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mmm... cheese... |
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Hatch
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I was lying about the cheese
thing, just thought I'd tell ya just incase you didn't realise! |
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MadDog
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oh.... *shocked* |
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Hatch
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Sorry for the shock, but we
can't be serious all our lives...
hang on, I mean, we can't joke around all our
lives??
hooplaa!
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MadDog
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all together now... HOOPLAH! |
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Hatch
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hooplah !! yoyoma! |
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MadDog
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YOYOMAAAA! |
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MadDog
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I have a dir in my winnt dir
called CatRoot.. heehehehe |
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Hatch
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catroot! heheh, it should read
dogroot! |
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MadDog
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or gerbilroot! |
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Hatch
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or emuscott! |
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MadDog
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emuscott? |
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MadDog
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So... youve finally got your
car, now I guess you'd better learn to drive... |
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Hatch
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Bugger of frat boy! |
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MadDog
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shut your head, ass-master! |
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Hatch
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spam face! |
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MadDog
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*CRAP JOKE FOR THE DAY*
"Ooops... I just sideswiped your car!"
That is all....
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Hatch
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CRAP JOKE FOR THE DAY!
"Oooops, I just side swiped your mum. She's still
got one arm at least though!"
heheh
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MadDog
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Haaa! |
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Hatch
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oh, sorry, my mistake, it wasn't
your mum, it was your dog. I dug it up and put it on the road then
ran over it multiple times.
Sorry bout that old chappy!
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MadDog
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*sniff* |
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Hatch
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Don't worry, I didn't run over
those glass eyeballs though! |
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MadDog
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they were marbles! |
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Hatch
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Oh, thats the technical term
is it mr dr I know what marbles are and everything else is! |
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MadDog
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Yep! |
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Hatch
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And is yep the only thing you
can think of mr yeppity yep yep!? |
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MadDog
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Bite me buttmunch |
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Hatch
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Oh, now you think I can bite
you, and by calling me buttmunch, what is your problem. What is
the deal, mr swear words and name calling man of la mancha! |
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MadDog
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Thats it you fried scollops
eating slipperydip nasal lubrication mongolian corgie and other
random words.... |
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Hatch
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Is that all you can come up
with you cheesy crustified umbilically tasting tramp of wimsey wamsey
looney hooney manfred munger! |
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MadDog
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You sitcom throat inhaling science
pumpo key pencil box standard football frog |
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Hatch
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You slightly squeezed toast
like substance of a rugrat! |
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MadDog
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Creamy Goodness |
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Hatch
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Gooey creaminess! |
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MadDog
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too far! |
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MadDog
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We'll have to do a radiohead
song.... karma police or something... |
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Hatch
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Yeah, its not to fast or anything,
and pretty simple to play. Just need to get the vocal worked and
we'll whip it in. Literally! |
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MadDog
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with an egg whisk! |
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Hatch
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with a glorified egg whisk! |
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MadDog
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Dont you throw your religious
beliefs at me mate!!!
Im gonna have to start a glorified egg whisk
debate on the posting board.
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MadDog
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praise the cheese! |
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Hatch
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Ants and pants don't like to
eat in france! |
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MadDog
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tune in tokyo! |
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Hatch
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The sicomore tree is too big
for me. |
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MadDog
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My holograph is full of eels! |
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Hatch
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An artichoke i ate shredded
my garbage bags! |
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MadDog
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My nipple explode with delight!
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Hatch
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My pet aphrodite fell in the
fried chicken! |
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MadDog
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Kicking the revealing rabbit
results in a petrified tampon |
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Hatch
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As I ate my dinner, a weird
ass guido type character caming crashing through my window! |
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MadDog
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was his name guido? |
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Hatch
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guido was his name - o. |
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MadDog
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G-U-I-D-O!
G-U-I-D-O!
G-U-I-D-O!
And guido was his name-o! |
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Hatch
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There once was guy named Guido,
He used to own a palamino.
He rode it into town one day,
and the horse bucked him off into some hay,
that funny little guy named Guido. |
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MadDog
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hooray for limericks! |
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Hatch
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:) |
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MadDog
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Ahhh! you have no nose! |
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Hatch
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No, that wasn't meant to be
a face, it was two dots with a half circle loopy bit next to it.
God some people are slow. |
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MadDog
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No no... I wasnt talking about
that! I meant, you really have no nose!! Go look in the mirror!!! |
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Hatch
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I was wondering why, when I
sneezed that all this snot came out my ears! Bastards!! |
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MadDog
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bastards cheated you! |
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Hatch
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The bastards cheated me! |
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MadDog
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creamy goodness! |
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Hatch
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Go down to maccas and order
some creamy goodness.
I wonder what they would say?
Sure, here you go. Ziiiiippp!
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MadDog
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No... its like this... Zzzzzzzip! |
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Hatch
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whoops, had the emphasise on
the wrong part! |
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MadDog
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hee hee hee... 66 occurences
of "creamy goodness" on altavista |
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Hatch
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Lucky its not 666 occurances.
It would be really evil then. |
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MadDog
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that would be creamy evilness! |
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Hatch
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or evil creaminess! |
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MadDog
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or evil goodness.... |
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Hatch
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or creamy goody evilness |
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MadDog
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or Spam! |
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MadDog
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dun dun dun dun dun... Crack
that whip!
dun dun dun dun dun... Licorice whip! |
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MadDog
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Hairy palms! |
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Hatch
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greasy elbows! |
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MadDog
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pie crusts! |
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Hatch
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photo realistic turds |
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MadDog
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mmmm.. |
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Hatch
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slightly salted egg whisks |
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MadDog
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thats an old one... |
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Hatch
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overly grown wooden spoons |
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MadDog
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Light and toasty jackhammers.... |
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Hatch
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Thouroghly mixed chinese woks |
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MadDog
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15% real artichokes |
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Hatch
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And then the young lass chewed
his last cheezel. |
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MadDog
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Dont take that tone of testicles
with me, you old lozenge! |
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Hatch
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And then the sheep ran over
to the broiled cheese and ate a moon pie. |
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MadDog
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"Shredded Wheat and Me"
- a biography by Shamsy Dogsyrup |
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Hatch
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As the sun came up, Sanford
crawled to his knees and thanked the iguana with much flatulence |
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MadDog
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The man with a toaster-oven
for a head smiled at me and gave me a bong for my troubles. |
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Hatch
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Samson smiled gently at his
genitalia, then laughed wildly as the carving knife came down with
a woosh! |
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MadDog
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And my mother replied "Who
is Samson?" |
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Hatch
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With an evil grin Guido dodged
the dangerous dwarf with all his might. |
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MadDog
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poor guido! |
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Hatch
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Just incase you didn't know,
we are down, just thought I'd clear things like that up. |
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MadDog
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like... duh! |
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Hatch
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Well, I just wanted to make
sure you knew, you know, with the way you've been lately, it just
hasn't been the same. |
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MadDog
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which way is that? RETARDED???
YOU CAN SAY IT YOU KNOW!!! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FREAKIN' SPECIAL
WITH YOUR PERFECT MENTAL STATE! YOU THINK THAT BECAUSE I'M A RETARD
YOU CAN WALK ALL OVER ME... WELL YOU CANT!!! I'M AS MAD AS HELL
AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! |
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Hatch
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I'm sorry!! **whimper**
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MadDog
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SO YOU BLOODY SHOULD BE!!!!!
*breaks into tears....*
I'm sorry! I love you maaaan!!!
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Hatch
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I luuuvv you too man!!
I'm so sorry!!
**crying ones eyes out** Shit man, I never realised
how much I really loved you....
**breaks into I will always love you by whitney
houston**
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MadDog
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too far with the whitney! |
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Hatch
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I thought so!! |
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MadDog
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nudey dances!!! beefcake!!! |
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Hatch
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Diddy Schlong Racing! |
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MadDog
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Wanti Quantro! |
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Hatch
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Susie in the sky with pancakes. |
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MadDog
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please remove your pubic hair
from my custard! |
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Hatch
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why oh why didn't you eat that
french turkey when the monkey's uncle came to dinner? |
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MadDog
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A woman dashes for a subway
train.
The doors slide shut the instant she reaches
it.
She says "Oh... Fuck it!"
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Hatch
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As the pizza boy sprinkled the
last bit of goat fluff on the pizza, he turned and said to his mother,
boy oh boy, does that feel good roasted. |
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MadDog
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Pensioner rates do not apply
on "NO ANCHOVIES" films. |
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Hatch
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Grandpa, grandpa, I don't want
touch your greasy schlong! |
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MadDog
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TOUCH IT BILLY! |
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Hatch
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Don't you ever talk to me in
that tone of lanuage Bill, you know how I detest you calling me
a big eyed mother of a testosterone female goat herding scruffy
faced cheesoid. |
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MadDog
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THE EYES!! THE EYES!!! Theyre
all green... you young spider... spiders I tell you... Whoops there
goes another rubber tree plant! Were off to see the wizard... the
wonderful wizard of Ankh-Morpork. |
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Hatch
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The old man fumbled with his
soft orange looking artichokes as the green llama sang songs of
the south. |
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MadDog
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Death.... no need to take a
breath... |
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Hatch
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Gypsy's gypsy's everywhere said
young Sam as his weird ass step brother sat on a porcupines nipple. |
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MadDog
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Hooray for whales having 5
foot penises.... |
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Hatch
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what??? |
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MadDog
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I heard it on Dr Karl Kruselwhateverhisfukinname
is... on Triple J.... |
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Hatch
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Thats a piece of information
that has changed my life forever! |
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MadDog
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write it in your cristmas cards
to people... |
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Hatch
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I was thinking of getting a
t-shirt, of the whale one!
hehe
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MadDog
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Yeah... that would be a cool
gift idea! |
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MadDog
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*goes harder and faster and
faster until......* |
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MadDog
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Oops! That message wasn't meant
for you... |
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Hatch
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what the hell???? |
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MadDog
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Hmmmm.... |
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Hatch
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good hmmm or bad hmmm? |
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MadDog
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salty hmmm... |
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Hatch
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not sour hmmm? |
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MadDog
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no... salty and fruity |
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MadDog
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Pee! Po! Belly! Bum! Drawers!
Dance in the garden in the nude,
Pee! Po! Belly! Bum! Drawers!
Let's write rude words all down the street;
Stick out our tongues at the people we meet;
Let's have an intellectual treat!
Pee! Po! Belly! Bum! Drawers! |
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Hatch
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Is that the new whitlams song? |
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