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Elvis Virus: Computer becomes fat, slow and lazy...
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PlanetMadDog.com
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Trauma - I'm a Pumpkin Man - SLAY Radio
PLAYLIST |
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Can you believe this?
Sadly, I can...
<<
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CRAP >>
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Hatch
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Did ya see the screen shots
of gran turismo with bleem using direct 3d and that, compared to
the original playstation graphics mode.. pretty cool huh.. |
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MadDog
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yeah... that loooks unreeeel!!!
:o) better than alex demitriatis's schlong anyway... |
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Hatch
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anything is better than his
schlong... |
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MadDog
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yes... like eskenders!! |
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Hatch
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before I went to bed last night, I had to have
a quick look at my ralph mag, cause i didn't want to go to bed
thinking weird stuff... if ya know what I mean.
:-)
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MadDog
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I stopped at erotic nights on
the way home, but I got freaked out by all the dildos, so I went
home and had a cold shower with my clothes on... |
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Hatch
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I understand.. don't worry about
it. |
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MadDog
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There was too much scary "zzzip" comedy in that
movie...
Adrian and I were both very scared...
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Hatch
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I know what you mean... scarryy
hairyy... |
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MadDog
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waah...
that eskenda was nice though....
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Hatch
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yes.. I have to totally agree
with you their. It was an excellent ishkenda indeed. |
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MadDog
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so much so, that I may have
one today for lunch... |
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Hatch
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Yes.. what an excellent decision
that is. |
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MadDog
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dude |
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Hatch
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I do declare that the ishkendar
is quite whimsical indeed. |
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MadDog
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oh you... |
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MadDog
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stay away from me you poof... |
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Hatch
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what.. I'm no poof.. |
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MadDog
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I know... silvy just said that
if I choke on my ishkender, then you'd have to give me mouth to
mouth... so I decided to send you a message to let you know what
I think of that idea... |
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Hatch
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Well.. she could give you mouth
to mouth... she's qualified in kissing a dummy! |
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MadDog
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euuu |
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Hatch
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On this day in 1995 Jerry O'Connell
stars as a genius student who comes up with a device that allows
him to travel to parallel universes in the Fox sci-fi adventure
"Sliders." Also along for the ride are Cleavant Derricks, John Rhys-Davis
and Sabrina Lloyd. |
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MadDog
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lets celebrate with a sliders
party where we stand around making sliding jokes with mobile phones
and tv remote controlls.. |
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Hatch
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woohoo.. sounds good to me!
:-) |
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Hatch
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I want Dr Robotnics mean bean machine for the
master system.. its cool..
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MadDog
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I want Dr Robotnik's Super
Flatulent Egg Buster Bonanaza.. |
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Hatch
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no.. I don't think they made
a sequel to it! |
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MadDog
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its not a sequal.. its the new
Breakfast cereal from Sega.. |
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Hatch
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Mmm.. sounds scrumptilicious! |
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MadDog
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I got Super Mega Fighting Buster
Bonanza Brother Race Driving Spectacular... |
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Hatch
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is it any good? |
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MadDog
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It's Flatulicious... |
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MadDog
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RAAH!!! I AM SATAN!! hee
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Hatch
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yeah, I guessed as much! |
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Hatch
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If anyone is downloading tons and tons and tons
of stuff this arvo.. could they please stop it or tell me, cause
I'm doing lots of stuff on the nt at the news, and its slow as
a wet wig.
Regards, Braden
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MadDog
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a wet wig ??? |
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Hatch
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yeah.. a wet wig.. haven't you
heard that one? |
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MadDog
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It's a wet week! |
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Hatch
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no... its a wet wig I tells
ya. |
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MadDog
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NO! WEEK! |
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Hatch
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No.... Wig...... do you comprehend...
Wig... |
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MadDog
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how slow is a wet wig exactly?` |
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Hatch
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fairly slow... not too slow..
but pretty slow. |
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MadDog
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oh.. |
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MadDog
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Something happened!!! (but it didnt really) APRIL
FOOL!!!!
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MadDog
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When a fat pig eats, it means that a funny juice
is walking on a fast pig. So, if a dry telephone is annoying a
wet pencil, another fat cow is walking on a slow computer! Now
and then, a fat pig prints, so the other dry printers are opening
a fast pig. Because the fat telephone is walking on a greasy juice,
the other funny pencil is drinking a fat printer! A greasy computer
asked: 'Do you want a old juice to open with?' to a old VCR. Any
dry cow is heavy because the old TV was slow! So, if a slow pig
is destroying a wet pencil, another wet pig is drinking a slow
computer! When a fat cow ejects, it means that a fast computer
is annoying a dry book. So, if a big computer is eating a old
telephone, another greasy book is annoying a fat printer!
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Hatch
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ARrrghhh.. brain mentalism overload... |
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Hatch
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"The Sandman and Bernie Fraser
are the same size as a barrel of smoochicken" |
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MadDog
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well maybey not the smoo chicken part, but sandman
and bernie fraser sound almost identical.....
|
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Hatch
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ok then.. don't know who bernie
fraser is? |
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MadDog
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he's like the minister of commerce
or something... |
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Hatch
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ok then...Yayy for you knowing
that.. heheehe.. I should of too. |
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MadDog
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well I dont know for sure, but
he was in some bank ad, which they took off on full frontal... |
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Hatch
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oh yeah.. mr read the paper
and watch all the news to catchup on the latest political news.
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MadDog
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Im just preparing for my appearance
on Good News Week. |
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Hatch
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ok then... I see.. |
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MadDog
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yep... I'm on mikey robins team...
sitting on the end next to Kate Fischer... |
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Hatch
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Well.. if you end up sitting next to kate fisher...
tell her she's got nice boosies from me.. :-)
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MadDog
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would you like me to suck them for you?
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Hatch
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oh yeah.. if you think she'll
enjoy it. .by all means.. go right ahead! |
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MadDog
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yeah... she might get a bit of a buzz out of
it....
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Hatch
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oooh.. and I saw that chick
that works at that card shop in the mall before.. ooh.. she has
nice breasts indeed... they way there were moving under that skimpy
tight shirt of hers...ooohh babY! |
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MadDog
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which card shop where where
where?? |
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Hatch
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The one in the mall... as you walk into on the
left side about 2 shops from the corner... this was the chick
that I nearly asked out on the street but backed out.. cause I
think she might be a bit of a snobby chick or either she's going
out with someone.. but geez.. she's got a nice rack indeed...
just thought I might tell ya.. I had to get it out in the open...
oh.. and she's got a really good arse too.. just
thought I'd say that as well.
Her face is ok.. but she's got really nice hair
too. darky brown hair.. fairly long and straight.. actually she's
got a pretty good face .. a really good one..
of course.. i just needed to say these things
thats all..
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MadDog
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And I appreciate it very much..
Thou shalt be on the look out... |
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Hatch
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oh definetly.. if I see her..
I'll point her out to ya. |
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MadDog
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and sqeeze her breast.. |
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Hatch
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no.. I wouldn't squeeze it at all.. I'd fondle
gently...
oh yeah.. gently lick and well... lots of tounge
action actually would be quite good on these breasts...
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MadDog
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changing the subject...
cup your hands... I need to pee...
|
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Hatch
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nooooooo |
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MadDog
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go on... cup your hands....
go on... open your mouth.... ... *TOO FAR*
|
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Hatch
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ARRRGHHHHH... NOOOOO.. TO FARKIN
FAR.... |
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Hatch
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check out my old mans homepage!
hehehe |
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MadDog
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cool, but who is that bearded
weirdo |
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Hatch
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hehehe.. thats my dad with a
beard.. you must have seen him in the bearded years. |
|
MadDog
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no.. only in the 'lead singer
of the badloves years'... brian sez he must have been in the Chuck
norris Years... heheh |
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Hatch
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oh geez. I thought you must
have seen that phase. |
|
MadDog
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nah... although the self portrait
looks nothing like him.. |
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Hatch
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hehehe.. we'll ya get that...
it does.. but it doesn't... |
|
MadDog
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see jade the slut on neighbours last nite?
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Hatch
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n'ah.. I went home for tea last
night.. what happened.. is she still going paul? |
|
MadDog
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she's going paul but paul doesnt
like her, but cant bring himself to tell her to piss off... and
hannah's coming next week... and jade just found out that pauls
still going out with hannah, and now she's pissed off... and she's
wearing these little skimpy shorts and a babydoll top |
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Hatch
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What.. he's not going out with
hannah still.. he hasn't seen her for ages..,. Look.. I'll fix this
and email channel 10 to tell them to get paul to just fuck jade
a few times.. get her over and done with, then when hannah comes
back.. screw her a bit, and even invite jade, just because he can,
and she'd prolly be into that sort of stuff. |
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MadDog
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yeah.... nah... I dunno whats
happening.. but I like your way better... maybe we can get them
to write Libby, Anne, Amy and Sarah... and Mrs Kennedy... into it
as well.. |
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Hatch
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yeah.. maybe not mrs kennedy,
but the rest for sure! |
|
MadDog
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well Mrs kennedy can be the
camera woman.. yeah... |
|
Hatch
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yup.. that works for me just
fine and dandy! |
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MadDog
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cool.. and hmmm... its missing something....
hmmm...
Howsabouts... right... we replace Paul... with
us! yeah!
|
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Hatch
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yeah.. bingo.. exactly.... and
paul can be boom mic operator! |
|
MadDog
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hmm..yeah okay... we'll see
if Channel 10 can get Katie Holmes as well... and Buffy... it will
be the highst rated episode ever! |
|
Hatch
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yeah.. the highest ever.. but
you do realise that I will have a lot of my time devoted to buffy
and katie holmes... although I'm sure anne will get her fair shair
of attention. |
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MadDog
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hey... fair share.. |
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Hatch
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ok then.. but .. n'ah.. thats
cool.. .. fair share.. I'm cool with that.. keep your calm braden..
there will be more times than once. |
|
MadDog
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yes.. we shall have our own spinoff series...
well call it.. ... umm.. ...
"Mick and Braden Rooting People."
|
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Hatch
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woohoo.. sounds like a sure
fire ratings winner to me. |
|
MadDog
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yeah!!! title needs work though... maybe
"Mick and Braden Rooting People Until They
Die"
|
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Hatch
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yeah.. or..
"Mick and Braden rooting people until they die,
and no one else can join in, even if they try to give us money,
unless its lots and lots of money!"
|
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MadDog
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"... or unless they are female
and sexy" |
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Hatch
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yup.. totally! |
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MadDog
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cool... will you write to Channel
10 or shall I? |
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Hatch
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i will .. don't worry about
it.. I've got it covered. |
|
MadDog
|
yeah.. just like you had the
contestibles covered.. |
|
Hatch
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contestibles??? What do you
mean? |
|
MadDog
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the make your own abc show competition |
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Hatch
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ok then.. but I had to do stuff..
and was flat out.. so thats why I didn't get it in. |
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MadDog
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sure sure.. excuses excuses..
mr water boy.. |
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Hatch
|
no.. I'm not waterboy.. I just
like to drink the stuff.. thats all. |
|
Hatch
|
Did you know in that in that
cruel intentions movie.. the main character guy.. Sebastian is actually
engaged to the Virgin chick in the movie.. and are expecting their
first baby in September... How bout that! |
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MadDog
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cool.. shit eh... so he actually
gets to like do her in real life.. cool! |
|
Hatch
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I know.. how lucky is he... |
|
MadDog
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very.. mmmmm... she had rather
nice large breasts.. |
|
Hatch
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oh yeah.. she definetly has
very nice breasts indeed... |
|
MadDog
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too bad there were no breasts
in that movie... |
|
Hatch
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I know.. but there were some
very nice cleavage shots.! |
|
MadDog
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yes... mmmm... booz action... |
|
Hatch
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definetly.. and it was tastefull
boosie action too. |
|
MadDog
|
yumm |
|
Hatch
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or rather... yummo! |
|
MadDog
|
or rather... "what a tasty pair
of breasts" |
|
Hatch
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or that either... :-) |
|
Hatch
|
if people are downloading lots,
can they please limit it.. I'm working on the nt and its as slow
as a wet wig! |
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MadDog
|
stop saying wet wig! |
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Hatch
|
stop saying wet wig! |
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MadDog
|
wig off! |
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Hatch
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Why I'd love to, buffy... |
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Hatch
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I saw the matrix last night. |
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MadDog
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i know |
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Hatch
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did you go to it as well? |
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MadDog
|
no... id already seenit |
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Hatch
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but how did you know I'd seen
it? |
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MadDog
|
you told me |
|
Hatch
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oh yeah.. duh! |
|
MadDog
|
To boosies!!
*CHEERS!*
|
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Hatch
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*cheers* big time! :-) |
|
MadDog
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So.... did ya have a spring
in your step this morning...? |
|
Hatch
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n'ah.. i'm still pretty tired
from last night, driving and all.. but I had a big arse grin on
my face! hehehe |
|
MadDog
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HEEEEE!!! Great stuff... the
cool thing is when people wonder why youve got a big ass grin on
your face... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. know what ya mean. |
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Hatch
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I do hope you don't think I'm
making a mountain out of a molehill, but that's the whole kettle
of fish in a nutshell |
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MadDog
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show me your clackers!
|
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Hatch
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I got no clackers to show you. |
|
MadDog
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you have much clacker of the
clacking variety... |
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Hatch
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ok then.. I believe you. |
|
MadDog
|
yes... it is so that I shall
be going to the gym tonite to be the flexer of much muscly bits. |
|
Hatch
|
and who ever is downloading,
its slow as a wet wig, so if they could stop it, I would very much
appreciate it. I'm doing stuff on the nt, for Ron Smith,and you
know how angry he gets if his stuff doesn't get done. |
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MadDog
|
yeah.. Ron'll eat you.... AND
STOP SAYING WET WIG FUCK IT! |
|
Hatch
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No.. its wet wig.............
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MadDog
|
FUUUUCK!!!! |
|
Hatch
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YOOOOUUUU...!!!! |
|
MadDog
|
AAAHHH!!!
*BANG*
*flump*
|
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Hatch
|
We've got a user called Dr Xena...
arrrgghhhhhh |
|
MadDog
|
no.. its not aaarrghhh.. its more like
"IEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE!"
|
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MadDog
|
I AM ALCOHOL ENHANCED MIKEY!!!
|
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Hatch
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you in possession of alcohol. |
|
MadDog
|
I was... in my body... mmm..
I had 2 Pints of Harp with lunch today at Flannigans.. mmmm. |
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Hatch
|
Whats it like there.. what are
their meals like. |
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MadDog
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meals are really nice.... mmm...
numm... and stuff.. yeah... and the beer is better.. mmm... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. coolies.. I'll have to
check it out sometime. |
|
MadDog
|
yeah... it's pretty cool.. beers
a bit expensive though... $5 for a pint... but a pint is about 2
pots worth.... |
|
MadDog
|
*sigh*
So I s'pose youre pissing off to bendigo tonite?
|
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Hatch
|
Hey.. aren't I allowed to spend
time with this chick or what??? |
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MadDog
|
hehe.. im just kidding.. spend
as much time as you can man.. heh |
|
Hatch
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Hmmm... Yeah.. I was just joking
too... |
|
MadDog
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oh.. heheh |
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Hatch
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no.. I was joking that I was
joking.. you maggot! grrr!! :-) |
|
MadDog
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AAHHHH! *pulls out big shield* |
|
MadDog
|
i got Bitz man
|
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Hatch
|
whats that? |
|
MadDog
|
Wendy's Bitz.. yum.. i got a caramel one with
bitz of marsbar in it...
alex dimitriades made it...
|
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Hatch
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arrghhh.. are they still makin
those things.. are they regular now? |
|
MadDog
|
yeah... theres a special machine
for it... |
|
Hatch
|
special machine... coolies...
and do you still have the spoon? |
|
MadDog
|
in my pocket...
that makes about 7 of them now ive got.
|
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Hatch
|
oh geez.. freakin 7.. |
|
MadDog
|
6 or 7 not sure.. but lots..
heheh... |
|
Hatch
|
thats a lot of bitz you've eaten
there. |
|
MadDog
|
yes... many bitz... |
|
MadDog
|
I just told a 'Hatch joke'...
|
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Hatch
|
and what joke was that? |
|
MadDog
|
Luke came in and said "Jaryd,
theres a Mr Parker for you on line 1" and I said "ask him if he's
related to Georgie Parker..." .. hehe |
|
Hatch
|
YaYY! |
|
MadDog
|
heheh... what are you doing after werk?
|
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Hatch
|
taking my washing off the line.
|
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MadDog
|
aha!!! cought red handed...
washing boy... or something.. |
|
Hatch
|
huh.. whats red handed about
being caught doing washing. |
|
MadDog
|
well if the dye comes off fro
a red jumper,, then it makes your hands red.. or something.. |
|
Hatch
|
ok .. phew.. I don't have a
red jumper! |
|
MadDog
|
good.. youre safe for now... |
|
Hatch
|
for now.. but in the future..
who knows.. |
|
MadDog
|
yes.. you may decide to get
a green jumper... |
|
Hatch
|
youre right.. |
|
Hatch
|
if people are downloading can
they please restrict it, cause you know you shouldn't be.. cause
I'm doing stuff on the nt box at the news and you know you shouldn't
be downloading or Tim will sexually mollest you with his pointy
fingers! |
|
MadDog
|
Only 17 more nipples to go...
|
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Hatch
|
nipples?? What do ya mean? |
|
MadDog
|
17 of them... to scan.. only
17 more nipples then my plan will be complete..!!! |
|
Hatch
|
And what does this plan involve..
apart from nipples? |
|
MadDog
|
well... i havent decided that
yet... but once I have enough nipples scanned, then the pretzel
will tell me what to do... |
|
Hatch
|
yes.. but have you thought about
the implications if you changed the nipple over with a large collection
of navel fluff? |
|
MadDog
|
oh... i didnt consider the navel
factor... thankyou for the insight... |
|
Hatch
|
Throughout history, people have
overlooked the navel factor, but now youre aware, you are so much
more prepared if that giant crack of an arse ever has a go at you! |
|
MadDog
|
well I've got qute a stock of
pube bombs to try and defend myself from the crack... but I wasn't
sure if that would be enough... but now, with your information,
i feel empowered to succeed in my mission... |
|
Hatch
|
I'm sure yo will succeed, I've
heard the pube bomb can get the job done quite easily! |
|
MadDog
|
hooray for toilet humour,...
|
|
Hatch
|
Yes indeed! toilet, bum, poo..
wee wee! hehehe |
|
MadDog
|
hee hee... pee pee.. bum.. turd...
snatch oops |
|
Hatch
|
ooh.. you're stretching it a
bit there... actually, I just don't want to think about how far
a snatch could stretch! |
|
MadDog
|
ive seen some prettty interesting
photos... |
|
Hatch
|
arrrrghhhh.. all my nightmares
come at once! |
|
MadDog
|
AHA!! Little one.. now you sleep....
|
|
Hatch
|
no.. not at all.. thats the
problem with nightmares! |
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