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I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of crashing.
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Search
PlanetMadDog.com
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| MadDog's
WinAMP |
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Last song played:
Trauma - I'm a Pumpkin Man - SLAY Radio
PLAYLIST |
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Its late at night,
and I'm sitting here copying and pasting page after page of drivel...
I love my life.
<<
PREVIOUS PAGE OF CRAP - NEXT PAGE OF
CRAP >>
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MadDog
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aha aha..
*will smith impersonation*
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Hatch
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d'oh..
*homer simpson impersonation*
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MadDog
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Boosies!!
-Braden Impersonation....
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Hatch
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schlong..
*michael impersonation*
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MadDog
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Muahahaha...
-Evil person impersonation...
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MadDog
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i like topless females...
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Hatch
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So do I... very very much indeed,
but before you say anything, qualityhay.com.au will be going in
a few minutes, I'm nearly finished. |
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MadDog
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yaaaaayy!!! Now... back to the
topless females... |
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Hatch
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Mmm... they've got that whole
topless breast thing going hey... its really cool. |
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MadDog
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yeah.... like... whooosh.. whooosh... whooosh..
*making wobbling breast motions*
like that...
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Hatch
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exactly, thats exactly how I'd
describe them... whoosh whoosh! |
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MadDog
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yeah... its like... whoh....
like that... |
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Hatch
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and then there's the nipple
thing going.. wow.. thats just a whole new ball game.. and I'm loving
every minute of it. |
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MadDog
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hehe.. the Officer in Charge at the Sheep Testing
Service's name is
A. F. Luff....
HAAAA!!! A FLUFF!!!! HAAA!! SHEEP!!! FLUFF?!!!
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Hatch
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yeah.. is that true? |
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MadDog
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hell yeah.. geddit?? fluffy
sheep!! Thats some funny shit man... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. but when you think about
it really hard, does it seem as funny as you think it might be...
hmmmmm |
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MadDog
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Hmmm...... hmmm....
that sucks man...
i hate you...
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Hatch
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I was only kidding, that is
some funny fuckin shit man! |
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MadDog
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YEAH!!!!! Rock on with the funny
names and the laughin at them.. |
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MadDog
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<voice type="little kid like">
BIG SQUARES!!
</voice>
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MadDog
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IBOONAHNEER!!!
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Hatch
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Noooooooooooooooo...
*proceeds to get that banana and shove it somewhere
a banana would fit quite nicely*
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MadDog
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wheres that then... |
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Hatch
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your mouth... |
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MadDog
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oh.... thats not good... |
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Hatch
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or your ear.. that could be
good. |
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MadDog
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might sort of just hang there.... |
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MadDog
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How about for the PSX2, we just go completely
overboard and call it...
"The super hyperactive magical folding technicolour
adhesive non-flammable techno grungy lightweight diet muscle-enhancing
soothing official gameshow el-grande cheap casino speaker laser
apple bandicoot station 2"
Then the first game to be brought out could be
a new streetfighter game...
"Super hyper mega zoom zoom alpha warriors dreams
edible drugs belter headband loincloth energy consumers international
skyscraper advacado plastic bag fighter 9"
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Hatch
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yeah.. that could be a goer,
although it might be a bit hard to print all that on the box. |
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MadDog
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bah... |
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Hatch
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sorry.. just being realistic
boyo! |
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MadDog
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realism bites... |
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Hatch
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realism is good when it comes
to playing flight sims. |
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MadDog
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ummm... shit... |
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Hatch
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when talking about shit, realisim
isn't a factor. |
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MadDog
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hmm... then what are the factors? |
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Hatch
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the factors are usually the arse it is coming
from... and the food digested in which the body converts into
shit.. rather simple in theory, but in practice
...ooga booga!
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MadDog
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no.. its uka uka... |
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Hatch
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ah.. there's the problem.. no
worries.. |
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MadDog
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problem fixed! |
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Hatch
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many people seem to enjoy the
sensation of boosies in their face! |
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Hatch
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I have many dreams about breasts...
sorry.. just thought I'd tell ya! |
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Hatch
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the other day, I went down the
street and saw this chick with a great pair of breats... I think
it was a tuesday, yup, it was and boy were they good breasts...
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Hatch
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I would compare a chocolate
bavarian to some breasts, but when ya think about it... they can't
be compared at all... |
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Hatch
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When washing the dishes yesterday,
I was thinking about a number of things... and guess what.. one
of those things, or should I say, two of those things were breasts! |
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Hatch
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Many people I know have rather
nice breasts... these include some girls I know as well.. |
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Hatch
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I was watching television tonight,
and saw this add on tv... and guess what.. there was this chick
who had the finest pair on breasts I'd ever seen. |
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Hatch
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When I used to write stories
in primary school.. I once came up with an idea in which a chick
had these great pair of breasts.. but I couldn't write it cause
it would have been considered rude. |
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Hatch
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I have many ideas on the theory
of breasts, and I'd luv to share all of my ideas with you, but I
don't have a spare 5 millions hours to explain them to you.. sorry
about that. |
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Hatch
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I hope you realise that you
better not tell anyone about my love of breasts because some people
could get offended... mainly those people with breasts come to mind. |
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Hatch
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Soon after my dental appointment,
I found myself looking fair square at a beautiful pair of breasts...
bonus! hehehe |
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Hatch
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oh yeah.. getting back to my
plot line... the key to a successful life and happy families, is
breasts... the end. |
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Hatch
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ok.. I think i've dazzled you
enough today with my brilliant breast talk.. cya breasty man..oh..
I mean maddog! |
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Hatch
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I just had your mum message me, and cause she's
not on my list... I nearly told her to fuck off..
thankgod I saw the email address...
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MadDog
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Phew!!!! |
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MadDog
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You know that other fuel song... whats it called..
jesus something...
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Hatch
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jesus or a gun! |
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MadDog
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Haaa.. i just found out thats
what it was called... up til now I thought it was Jesus Origami... |
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Hatch
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what??? hahahhahaha |
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MadDog
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Glad I found out now.... |
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MadDog
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Hey man... do you dig weird al man?
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Hatch
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yeah.. he's not bad... he's
a wacky guy ! |
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MadDog
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cool man... well man... catch
you later man.... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. I'm sure we'll meet again
! |
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Hatch
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I've got a girl who can travel the world for
free...
told me her phone number, told me to call her at 3.
She's got some breasts that I'd like to test sometime.
That was a lie, cause I like to make it rhyme.
Good luck, Ruby Thursday, cause that is a pretty
good day.
I've heard, it could be sunny, so lets go have some lunch at maccas.
babaaaaa....
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MadDog
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I'm going to fully get renatosflorist.com.au
back to us, instead of just email.
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Hatch
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great stuff.... good work..
here.. have a boner... |
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MadDog
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why thankyou kind sir... boner's
are hard to come by this time of morning. |
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MadDog
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Hi Folks...
Im in "leave me the hell alone" mode at the moment..
if its urgent, then mark it so, and I'll read it... otherwise
I need to get my head on for a bit....
Ta...
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Hatch
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ok. .I've got one thing to say...
little munchin ladies are dancing on your earlobes!
:-)
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MadDog
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we were just approached by Roland Australia (the
musical instrument company) to do a website... cool eh?? thats
pretty big....
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Hatch
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woohoo.. free musical instruments
for us.. |
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MadDog
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well.... hrrmmm |
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Hatch
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or free stickers maybe... :-) |
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MadDog
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yeah.. thats a bit closer...
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Hatch
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or phone calls from a guy at
roland saying hello mcmedia.. |
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MadDog
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thats our payment.... |
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Hatch
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hehehe...
we could write a theme song for them... It goes
something like this...
roland roland roland,
they sell music stuff
for you and your friends
yeah baby baby roland!!!!
what do ya think?
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MadDog
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Performed by Sphagnum.... Hmmm...
'Rooooooolaaaaand... Buy our shit!'
its a done deal!
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MadDog
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my hearts a tart
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Hatch
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I'm glad you told me that...
My life is now fully forfilled totally! |
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MadDog
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forfilled? |
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Hatch
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forfilled to the maximuminity!
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MadDog
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happy spring, man
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Hatch
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yeah.. I should give you a pinch
and a punch for the first day of the month! |
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MadDog
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I should give you a kick in
the balls... cos I wanna |
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Hatch
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ahh... from my side of things...
a foot to my balls isn't the kind of Wednesday morning thing I need
right now! |
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MadDog
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yo homies
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Hatch
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homie yo's... new from Startel. |
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MadDog
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homie yo! New from Yoplait |
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Hatch
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hehehe |
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MadDog
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wheres my trousers? |
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Hatch
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in your dissapearing sleeves..
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MadDog
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oh... there they are... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. next to the supersonic
hankerchief |
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MadDog
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ive got one of those? wow... |
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Hatch
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Where's bri been the last couple
of days? |
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MadDog
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he's on holidays this week....
he's in tasmania... |
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Hatch
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oh shit yeah.. I forgot.. |
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MadDog
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yeah.. isnt that where they
all root their families? |
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Hatch
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yeah.. lots of gay people I
heard. |
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MadDog
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as a 3 dollar bill |
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Hatch
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twenty something I said... |
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MadDog
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WHAT? |
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Hatch
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was my change and not hers..
hehehe |
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MadDog
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stop those shinannigans or I'll
lock you under the stairs again... |
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Hatch
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I know, but what of the murphys,
they're just like us in many ways... |
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MadDog
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Read your town charter, boy...
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MadDog
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the invention of the videogame dates 1958.
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Hatch
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yeah.. with a little game I
wrote when I went back in time called.. "1958 aliens are coming
to get us!" |
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MadDog
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yeah... you stole the source
code to Super dog, and re wrote it, ya bastard! |
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Hatch
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I'm sorry man.. |
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MadDog
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s'okay... as long as the royalties
keep coming through, i'll be happy. |
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Hatch
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yeah.. the royalities you get
is a visit from the queen every 18 months.. |
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MadDog
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ah... I enjoy her visits...
although last time she came, she bloody shitted all over the place...
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Hatch
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hehehe.. dam bloody old aged
royalty.. think they can shit anywhere they want... |
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MadDog
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This time, ive set up a little
box for her.... |
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Hatch
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with some queeny litter.. hehehe |
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MadDog
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I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms
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Hatch
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Ya see the guy from Van Halen,
the drummer, has to wear a neck and shoulder brace when he plays
the drums now, because he was head banging so much in the eighties
when he played the drums, the doctors say if he head bangs again
while playing the drums, there's a mighty good chance he'll break
his neck. How cool is that.. :-) |
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MadDog
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Im in High Street!!!
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Hatch
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I'm in Nixon Street... |
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MadDog
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wow... were a world away, yet
we can still communicate... isnt that neeto? |
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Hatch
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You have heating and cooling there.
yeah.. its like that dream I had the other day..
where all these naked chicks were around me, instead of being
on the other side of the room as they normally are.. oh.. hang
on.. that wasn't a dream, that was me yesterday night.. oh well..
*sigh*
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MadDog
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oh... why didnt you call me? |
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Hatch
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I would have, but the phone
wasn't in a place where I wanted to start dialling people, if ya
know what I mean. |
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Hatch
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Since when has Campbell been
making movies for four years four? |
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MadDog
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since he saved the world from
the evil Ming the Merciless... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. just as I thought. |
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MadDog
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The Marriage of True Minds
by William Shakespeare
Let not the marriage of true minds Admit impediments.
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds Or bends
with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixed mark That
looks on tempests and is never shaken. It is the star to every
wand'ring bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be
taken.
... and here's the anagram ...
Oh Damn! Must I Refrigerate?
by Leslie Marie Kapshaw
I, altogether a formed instrument, Despite slim
motivation, mend love In what we'd call a fitter Shinto shrine;
Where vermin rot, betroth some dove. A fork (an extreme division
Soon eventless in the dark paths) makes not That street biker
advisory warning So. I laugh when he knows what the non-bikers
thought.
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Hatch
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Is that real? |
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MadDog
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yeah! |
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Hatch
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groovy.. some uni kid has got
too much spare time on his hands. |
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MadDog
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"I have had three children and thought I had
lost my breast to these scrolls on my chest. After using Grobust
for 3 months my breast have returned to the way they used to look,
only larger. They are firm enough that I don't need a bra anymore.
I think it is a fantastic alternative to surgery. Thanks so much!"
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Hatch
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hehehe.. thats like the device
I used called "Growpenis" :-) |
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MadDog
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do you have aids?
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MadDog
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well? |
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MadDog
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come on little aids boy! |
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Hatch
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yeah.. but I was walking down the street yesterday,
and found this cure for aids on a bit of paper, and it said, mix
a celery stick with some milo, one egg and a bit of burnt toast,
mush it all together and wash it down with some cheese and voila...
no more aids..
well I tried it, and i feel great today!
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MadDog
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wow... give some to tom hanks...
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Hatch
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I did.. but it didn't work,
because he works in hollywood.. |
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MadDog
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did you try molly meldrum...
cos he's a poof you know... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. but when I gave him the
recipe, he just stuck the celery stick up his arse... |
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MadDog
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did he seem to enjoy it? |
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Hatch
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he did, although he said he
prefered carrots.. |
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MadDog
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just got this ICQ from someone:
"I just wanna thank McMedia for taking my
website job at Kidstown. I wish you all a merry death and hope
you rot in hell. Thanks for taking the one thing that was important
to me. THIS WAS MY BIG FUCKEN JOB"
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MadDog
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People who live in glass houses shouldn't cavort
nude on top of The piano doing gorilla impersonations.
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Hatch
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yeah...I see the problems that
could arise with that situation.. |
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MadDog
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I want to register the domain: svangerskabsforbygendenmiddel.com
that means condom in scandinavian... or something...
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Hatch
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is it taken? |
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MadDog
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would help if I knew how to
spell it properly.... |
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Hatch
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yeah.. are you sure about that
though? |
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MadDog
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yeah.. its bad enough asking
for a pack of condoms, let alone a box of svangerskabsforbygendenmiddels... |
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Hatch
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bloody oaths.. spose they just
call them svangers.. hehehe |
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MadDog
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Things you'll never hear a woman say :
'My, what an attractive scrotum!'
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Hatch
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hehehee.. true.. |
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Hatch
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I met Xena Sphagetti Hollow
Princess the other day... |
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MadDog
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sorry? |
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Hatch
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I met Xena Sphagetti Hollow Princess the other
day..
She was this weird arse chick at Sphagetti Hollow
when I went there for my sisters birthday monday night..
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MadDog
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and her name was xena... ? |
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Hatch
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No.. this lady worked out big
time.. and looked like Xena... This girl could have been a gladiator
for sure. |
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MadDog
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cool.. did you do her? |
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Hatch
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no.. I didn't want her to come
near me.. she was scary.. |
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MadDog
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she would bust your balls... |
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MadDog
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you know how chicks get sick of guys looking
at their tits? well Ive got a solution... All chicks should walk
around naked... that way we'd perve our asses off, then we'd get
sick of it, then we wont bother looking anymore... what a plan!
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Hatch
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yeah.. but secretly there would
be guys like us walking round go.. whoa.. check out those titties..
Mmmm.. titties.. and stuff.. but if we did it secretly, it would
be alright.. |
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MadDog
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The name ish Bond, Jamesh Bond, now shtand shtill
while I kick your bloody arsh...
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Hatch
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no.. thats not very nice at
all... |
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MadDog
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next time youre rootin a chick, and she says
you have a small penis, just say "No... you have a really large
vagina"
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Hatch
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hahahahaaha.. thats funny..
not that I would ever happen.. |
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MadDog
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heheh |
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